I was BODY SHAMED AT WALMART
Monday afternoon I went to Wal-Mart on Skyland Blvd. Just a normal guy doing some shoppin’.
No big whoop.
I got all my normal stuff: chips, Faygo, K-Cups, a lamp, a fire extinguisher, a length of rope, some bananas and some grape jelly... DO NOT JUDGE ME.
Anywhoo, at the SELF CHECK OUT AISLE I was rocking right along. I got this down. I know JUST HOW TO HOLD THE PRODUCT OVER THE RED THINGY AND MAKE IT GO BEEP on the first try!
And this is a BIG BUT.
I got distracted by the Sweet Tarts on the candy shelf – and..........
When I was scanning my bananas….. I ACCIDENTLY PRESSED “ PLANTAIN!!!!!"
It was an honest mistake. THEY LOOK ALIKE. (Is THAT racist to say…??)
The alarm went off. People were staring! A LITTLE KID SCREAMED. An old lady passed out!
I FELT LIKE A CRIMINAL.
The nice Wal-Mart lady came over to assist me. She punched in a code and an OVERHEAD image appeared on the screen.
The video showed me, just a few seconds before, ACCIDENTLY scanning my bananas under “Plantain.”
IT WAS ALL RIGHT THERE. ON VIDEO.
I was VINDICATED.
But my jubilation was short lived. For the next image I saw, was one that will shake me to my dying day.
I HAVE A BALD SPOT.
I was not aware of this. Until now.
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